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Parenting Plans

A Parenting Plan is an essential component of every child custody arrangement. Parenting plans must include the child(ren)’s normal schedule for parenting time, a holiday schedule, and a vacation schedule. 

Parenting plans vary for each family based on the needs of the children and parents. Ideally, the parents will collaborate and agree on a plan that fits their situation, focusing on what is best for their child(ren). But if they cannot agree, the Court will decide. 

To understand the options available and possible variations, it is helpful to review the most common parenting time schedules first.  

Equal Parenting Time Plans

In most parenting time cases in Arizona, the parties either agree to equal parenting time or the Court orders equal parenting time. The reason for this is simple—equal parenting time is the starting point for the discussion on how much parenting time the Court should order. Smith v. Smith, 253 Ariz. 43, 47, ¶ 17 (App. 2022) 

Why is equal parenting time the most common order? 

Equal parenting time is where the Court starts in determining what parenting plan is appropriate. The reason why stems essentially from two statutes: 

  • A.R.S. § 25-103(B): “It also is the declared public policy of this state and the general purpose of this title that absent evidence to the contrary, it is in a child’s best interest: To have substantial, frequent, meaningful and continuing parenting time with both parents.” 
  • A.R.S. § 25-403.02(B): “Consistent with the child’s best interests in section 25-403 and sections 25-403.03, 25-403.04 and 25-403.05, the court shall adopt a parenting plan that provides for both parents to share legal decision-making regarding their child and that maximizes their respective parenting time.  The court shall not prefer a parent’s proposed plan because of the parent’s or child’s gender.”  
  • Note that the statutes cited in A.R.S. § 25-403.02(B) refer to statutes regarding the issues of domestic violence analysis, substance abuse analysis, and sex offender/murderer statutes. When these apply, equal parenting time is no longer the starting point.  

The easiest way to “maximize” each parent’s time is to order equal parenting time. An equal parenting time plan also meets the public policy standard that each parent has “substantial, frequent, meaningful and continuing parenting time.”  

In recent years, case law has addressed whether upon a showing of fitness, a parent is automatically entitled to equal parenting time. That is what Father argued in Gonzalez-Gunter v. Gunter, 249 Ariz. 489 (App. 2020) when the trial court found that he was a fit parent but found it was in the child’s best interests for the children to live with Mother primarily due to conflicts Father was having with the children. In his appeal, Father argued that once he was found to be a fit parent, the Court had to order equal parenting time for him. The Court of Appeals disagreed. It ruled that trial courts may order whatever plan is in the child’s best interests, whether that is equal parenting time or some other arrangement. The statutes do not mandate equal parenting time. 

Nevertheless, a couple of years later in Smith v. Smith, 253 Ariz. 43 (App. 2022), the Court of Appeals clarified that equal parenting time is the starting point. We always start with that idea. But equal parenting time is not a presumption. A presumption suggests a burden of proof someone has to overcome in order to get something other than equal parenting time. But in a child custody case, the standard is the best interests of the child. Whether the Court orders equal parenting time or another arrangement, the person who wants that arrangement must show it is in the child’s best interests.  

The Court of Appeals explained this well in an unpublished case, Troutman v. Troutman, 2023 WL 3749852 ¶ 11 (Ariz. App. 2023): 

¶11 Father asks this court to provide guidance for when it is appropriate to depart from the starting point of equal parenting time. The legislature provided that guidance in § 25-403.02(B), which requires the court to award parenting time consistent with the child’s best interests. See A.R.S. § 25-403.02(B). Courts determine the child’s best interests by applying §§ 25-403, -403.03, -403.04, and -403.05. Because each family and child is different, the factors applicable in each case will vary. More importantly, how the court weighs each factor must be determined on a case-by-case basis. It is impossible to impose a bright line rule for what constitutes “maximized” parenting time as Father requests. In some cases, one day a week might be in the child’s best interests. But other cases may warrant equal parenting time. The court satisfies its statutory obligation when it considers the child’s best interests under §§ 25-403, -403.03, -403.04, and -403.05. See A.R.S. § 25-403.02(B).  

In sum, equal parenting time is the starting point, and, for most Arizona parenting time cases, that is where it ends up. But the Court may order a different plan if it finds that such a plan is in the child’s best interests. The Court has very broad discretion to do so as long as it considers the required statutory factors.  

5-2-2-5 Parenting Plan

The above chart runs Monday through Sunday to help you see the breakdown. 

A 5-2-2-5 is the most common parent plan ordered in Arizona. It assigns one parent every Monday and Tuesday, the other parent every Wednesday and Thursday, and then the parents alternate the weekends. 

Most commonly, exchanges happen on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday mornings, although some parents opt to do exchanges on Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday nights.  

Advantages of the 5-2-2-5 

  • Ensures that a parent will not go more than five days without seeing their child. This can be especially important for children in elementary school or children who are just transitioning to a parenting schedule after having previously lived with both parents.  
  • It provides predictability for the child. The child knows where they will be every Monday through Thursday. This is especially important for school-aged children.  
  • It evenly distributes weekend and weekday parenting time. From what our clients report, there are important differences between weekends and weekdays for a parent. Weekdays are spent attending to important matters involving the child, such as getting them to and from school, doing homework, and going to doctors’ appointments. Weekdays are very much about responsibility. Weekend parenting time is more about quality time and having fun with the child. It allows a parent to develop both aspects of their relationship with the child. 
  • It is generally the closest plan we have to a one-plan-fits-all-ages plan, as it is generally workable for toddlers, grade schoolers, and teens.  

Disadvantages of the 5-2-2-5 

  • The number of exchanges. Although only two exchanges on some weeks, other weeks have three exchanges in one week. That can be challenging, especially if the parents don’t live close to one another.  
  • Although designed for parents to share the responsibilities for the child equally, it really only works if both parents are actually responsible. Sometimes, we see all of the homework or all of the doctor’s appointments fall on one parent’s shoulders.  
  • Although five days apart is generally viewed as not being too long for children, that can be a long time for younger children, especially those not yet old enough to attend school.  

The name comes from the dynamic you see play out in Weeks 2-4. Starting on the Wednesday in Week 2, Parent B has five straight days of parenting time. Then the children go to Parent A for two days, back to Parent B for two more days, and then Parent A has the children for five straight days, i.e., 5-2-2-5.  

2-2-3 Parenting Plan

 The 2-2-3 is similar to the 5-2-2-5. We are assigning the same days, and having exchanges the same days as we would under the 5-2-2-5. The difference now, though, is that there is no set schedule for the weekdays. Instead, we are exchanging every few days.  

Advantages of the 2-2-3 

  • The child goes no more than three days without seeing the parent. This can be especially useful for younger children as it makes their time away from a parent substantially less.  
  • Like the 5-2-2-5, it equally distributes the weekend and weekday parenting time to share in responsibilities and allow for quality time for both parents.  

Disadvantages of the 2-2-3 

  • It lacks the predictability that makes the 5-2-2-5 such a popular option. For that reason, it’s generally not a great plan for children when they are in school. And that, of course, limits its application essentially to toddlers and pre-Ks. Ideally, what we want to build in a Parenting Plan is one that works at all ages of the child (because we hope parties only have to go to Court one time, even though that is not always possible).  
  • Not only is that lack of predictability tough on children, it can be tough on parents who also need predictability for personal and professional reasons.  
  • Every week, you are guaranteed to have three exchanges, which can be overwhelming for parents and the child.  

Week-On, Week-Off Parenting Plan


 This plan is self-descriptive: One week you have the child; one week you do not. As far as plans go, there is not a simpler Plan than week-on, week-off. 

Exchanges tend to be either on Monday mornings or Sunday nights.  

Advantages of the Week-on/Week-Off 

  • Simple, predictable, and easy. It reduces exchanges to once a week. This reduces miscommunications and the stress that accompanies transitioning from one home to another.  
  • It allows for consistency without the child feeling like they are being shuffled between the two homes.  
  • This plan works well for older children who are of middle school or high school age. They usually can go longer periods of time without seeing their other parent.  
  • The plan also works well for situations involving high-conflict parenting. There is only one exchange, which limits the contact between parents, and even then, the exchange can take place at school with the parent whose time is ending to drop the child off to school in the morning, and the parent whose time is starting pick up the child at the end of the school day. That means there can be zero contact while the child is at school. Exchanges at school generally work for the other plans too, but it’s much easier to execute when there is only one exchange. 
  • It allows for more flexibility, particularly in the summer, for a parent to do something special or travel with the children during their time, particularly in cases where travel provisions are less restrictive.  

Disadvantages of Week-on/Week-Off 

  • It is not practical for younger children, for children who are not school age or even in the first few years of elementary school, the children need frequent time with the other parent to bond with them. Some professionals have expressed concern that a week away from a parent for a younger child may negatively impact their ability to appropriately bond with both parents.  
  • Even for children in elementary school, it can be difficult to go a week at a time without seeing a parent. That can sometimes be ameliorated by agreeing that the parent who does not have the children that week to have the children over for dinner on Wednesday or Thursday night.  
  • The plan works best when the child’s lifestyle is similar in both homes. But if, for example, at one home, the child is going to be at 9 p.m. every night, and in the other, the child is staying up until midnight, those are very difficult differences to adjust to, and they only become more pronounced by spending one week at a time in each home.   
  • A parent has a whole week where they are responsible for a child, which can create logistical problems for a parent needing to pick up, drop off, and take children to activities for a week straight. 

Courts can order a week-on, week-off plan but in our experience are much more prone to select the 5-2-2-5 over the week-on, week-off plan.  

Half-Week Parenting Plan

 Like the name suggests, it splits the week in half with a mid-day exchange on one day so that day is evenly split.  

The above schedule, unlike the others, is shown starting on Sunday. Typically, the parties are splitting Wednesday, but sometimes, they might split Friday, Saturday, or Sunday because those weekend days are a little easier to split when considering school for the child.  

The half-week plan is usually only ordered by agreement of the parties. Courts do not typically order this when the decision is left to the Court.  

4-3-3-4 Parenting Plan

 This is an option, but usually only by agreement of the parties. It is a way of doing the half-a-week schedule without having to split the seventh day in half. Instead, that seventh day is alternated.  

Long-Distance Parenting Plans

The Typical Plan

The most common long-distance situation is when parents are living in different states. If one parent lives in Arizona, and the other parent lives out of state, the child will primarily live with one parent, and travel to see the other when it coincides with the school calendar or holidays. This can make travel difficult and expensive, but it can be successful in certain circumstances.  

The non-primary parent has the child for the following times: 

  • A week on or around Christmas (generally, this is rotated so that one parent will have the child one Christmas, and the other parent has the child the next Christmas).  
  • Several weeks during the summer. This can vary anywhere from three to six weeks. It’s rare that the parent gets the entire summer break because the Court wants to allow both parents the opportunity to spend quality time with the child for things like summer vacation.  
  • Either Fall Break or Spring Break every school year. Similar to Christmas, this is commonly rotated each year. 

In-State Plan

In-state plans refer to situations where both parents live in-state but far from each other. For example, one parent may live in Phoenix, and the other parent may live in Tucson. In those situations, it is common to add 1-2 weekends per month where the child stays with the non-residential parent. Exchanges are typically done somewhere halfway between where the parents live.  

Southern California/Las Vegas Plans

Southern California and Las Vegas are close enough to allow additional parenting time beyond the common long-distance parenting plan. Sometimes, we see parents adding a weekend every month, or the non-residential parent gets the child on every three-day weekend.  

Holiday Plans

Holiday parenting time is one of the biggest stressors for newly separated or divorced parents. Every parent wants to make the holidays special for their children, but the holiday season can be fraught with anxiety as to how it is going to work between two households. Parenting plans should include a detailed and comprehensive holiday schedule to reduce conflict and help make co-parenting easier and better for the children.  

 What to include in a holiday parenting plan: 

 When creating a holiday schedule, make sure it includes the following:  

  • Who has the children for each holiday, for every year (if on an alternating schedule). 
  • Times of when the parenting time starts and when it ends (the more detail, the better). 
  • How and where the exchanges are handled.  
  • The Parenting Plan should make clear that the holiday schedule supersedes the regular schedule.  

When a Parenting Plan includes these elements, disagreements and hurt feelings are greatly reduced.  

What holidays should be included?  

What holidays to include and how to split them up is the parents decision. Oftentimes, religious preferences play a role in selecting what holidays are included.  

Ideally, to avoid any disputes the plan would include every holiday, but some people only include the major holidays like Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Halloween, Easter, the 4th of July, and fall and spring school breaks. Some parents include more minor holidays like Labor Day and Memorial Day. And of course, Jewish, Muslim, Hindi, and other religious parents include the holidays their faiths celebrate.  

When parents agree on a Parenting Plan, they can include whatever holidays they like. That’s one of the benefits of a mutually agreed-upon Parenting Plan.  

It is common to include a provision that mom gets the child every Mother’s Day and dad gets the child every Father’s Day. For same-sex parents, Mother’s Day or Father’s Day would likely be split by one parent getting the child on odd years and the other parent getting the child on even years.  Similar provisions are made for each parent’s birthday. Parents typically alternate the child’s birthday. 

Sample Holiday Parenting Plan

The holidays, start times, and end times will vary from parenting plan to parenting plan. We note that the below example does use the terms “Mother” and “Father;” we included that to show how Mother’s Day and Father’s Day work in these plans. For a plan involving same-sex parents, we would typically use first names or Parent A or Parent B on the schedule.  This is provided to give you an idea of what a plan might look like: 

At the beginning of a Parenting Plan, language will typically include a statement that the holiday plan takes precedence over the regular parenting plan. At the end of the plan, the plan will also include a statement along the lines of, “All other holidays not identified fall within the regular parenting time schedule.”  

School Breaks

School breaks can also be included in the chart or by a separate written provision below. Here’s how a typical provision in a Parenting Plan addresses the issue of school breaks: 

  • Winter Break. Particularly in long-distance situations, one parent will get the first half of Winter Break, and the other parent will get the second half of Winter Break. This may determine who gets the child on Christmas unless Christmas parenting time is specified in the holiday schedule. Sometimes, it may be necessary to define what half of the break means. This can be as simple as including a provision that reads, “Winter Break shall be calculated by counting the number of overnights starting when school is released until the school commences again and dividing that number by two.” 
  • Spring and Fall Break. These are typically alternated during the school year. Again, it is important to define when it begins and ends. Most commonly, it is defined as beginning when school lets out at the start of the break to when school recommences at the end of the break.  
  • Summer Break. When parents live in close proximity to each other, summers tend to follow the regular parenting time schedule. If the parents live 40-100 miles apart, summers may follow the inverse of the parenting time schedule as when school is in session. And, in long distance situations, the non-residential parent usually gets a few weeks each summer.  

Vacation Plans

The Parenting Plan should also include a plan for allowing each parent to travel with the child. The standard provision is for each parent to have two non-consecutive weeks of travel each year. These are generally exercised in the summer because both parents would have to agree for any travel during the school year. Vacation takes precedence over the regular schedule and where vacation plans may interfere with the holiday schedule, parents should communicate and reach an agreement. Most parenting plans include an itinerary requirement so the non-traveling parent knows where the child is and where they are staying. This can be important in the event of an emergency. Disclosing who else may be traveling with the child is encouraged.  

Out of State Travel 

For out-of-state travel, some parents choose to require that a parent planning to take the child out of state receive permission from the other parent or request a Court order. Other parents choose to allow out-of-state travel freely and simply require notice to the other parent of where they will be traveling. 

International Travel 

Some parents choose to restrict international travel altogether. Most parents, though, are willing to permit it. A passport for a child generally requires both parents’ signatures, although there is an exception for when one parent has sole legal decision-making.  

Some concerns with international travel are as follows: (1) Whether the parent and child are traveling to a country where they will be safe. The non-traveling parent certainly has grounds to object to international travel where the child may be at risk. It is important to check whether the U.S. State Department has issued any travel advisories for a certain country before proposing travel. (2) Whether the country to which they are traveling is a signatory to the Hague Convention on Child Abduction. If they are, that country will cooperate with returning the child to the United States in the event the other parent refuses to return to the United States. If they are not a signatory, the country may still cooperate, but it is far less likely that you will have any assistance. Mexico, Canada, and most European, Latin American, and South American countries are signatories. Many countries in Asia, Africa, and the Middle East are not. India, Egypt, Saudi Arabia, and Thailand are among the countries that are not signatories to the Hague Convention.  

In one unique and interesting case, the father wanted to take the children to Kuwait. In order to ensure their safe return, the Court required him to post a $2.5 million bond before he could travel with the children to Kuwait. Lehn v. Al-Thanayyan, 246 Ariz. 277 (App. 2019). He appealed the bond, but the Court of Appeals upheld it, finding that it was necessary to protect the children from being abducted. Id. at ¶ 27.                

What Else Needs To Go In The Parenting Plan?

A.R.S. § 25-403.02(C) details what needs to be included in every Parenting Plan. Additional requirements are imposed by rules and/or other statutes. See e.g. ARFLP Rule 45(c). The initial requirements are, of course, that it identifies the custodial aspects of the plan—what is the legal decision-making order, what are each parent’s rights and responsibilities related to major decisions, and the parenting time schedule. Other requirements include:  

Exchange Protocol 

According to A.R.S. § 25-403.02(C)(4) exchange protocol must include the location and the plan for transporting the child. Here are some common exchange protocols that are included in Parenting Plans: 

  • Receiving Parent Picks Up. This is probably the most common: When it’s your turn to start your parenting time, you drive over to the other parent’s home and pick up the child. When the co-parenting relationship is functioning well, this is a good option, as it simplifies exchanges and is probably the best option for a situation where a child is bringing items with them. This option also works best where parents are respectful of the other parent’s space, i.e., they shouldn’t enter the other parent’s home without being invited in. For that reason, this exchange protocol does not work as well in high-conflict situations. There are parents who just burst into the other parent’s home, which naturally causes a major argument and unnecessary stress. In instances of high-conflict, the receiving-parent-pick-up strategy could still work with additional boundaries such as not exiting your vehicle upon arrival. This will require either the child to come out and get in your vehicle or, for younger children, for the other parent to bring them out.  
  • Public Location. In situations where the parents live far away from each other or in situations in which safety is a concern, many parents choose to do exchanges at a public location. When distance plays a factor, parents are usually looking for a place halfway between their respective homes. Most commonly, this ends up being a gas station, coffee shop, or grocery store. When safety is a concern, a QT gas station is a good exchange location because of its pledge to be a Safe Place, with many locations investing in video monitoring on site. A police station is also an option for exchanges, as long as the child will not be brought into any confrontation. 
  • School Drop–off/Pick-up. When school is in session, many parents choose to do “exchanges” around the school day. The parent whose time is ending will drop the child off at school, and the parent whose time is beginning will pick up the child. This is an especially good option for high-conflict situations or situations where the parents recently broke up because it minimizes interactions between the parents, which can help keep the temperature down.  

Mediation/Dispute Resolution Requirements  

By law, a parenting plan must be in place for at least one year before a parent may seek a modification (there are exceptions to that law for when an emergency arises or where a parent is abusing legal decision-making). A.R.S. § 25-411(A). A relocation counts as a modification and is subject to the one-year rule. Murray v. Murray, 239 Ariz. 174 (App. 2016).  

A.R.S. § 25-403.02(C)(5) requires that the parties include a provision in their Parenting Plan about how they will address proposed changes, disputes, and alleged breaches. Specifically, the Parenting Plan must include a provision for how these will be either “mediated or resolved.” This may include requiring the parties to go to mediation to resolve disputes or before seeking Court intervention. Or it may include a tie-break procedure, such as using a third-party to help the parties resolve disputes, or a parenting coordinator who will be the tiebreaker in the event of a dispute. In 2019, the Arizona Supreme Court changed the Arizona Rules of Family Procedure, including a change to Rule 91(d) that states no party is required to submit to mediation before filing a petition to modify; however, they may be required to mediate after they file to modify. Despite this rule, if your Parenting Plan required mediation before you can seek a modification, your best move is generally to request mediation before filing a case. 

Periodic Review 

A.R.S § 25-403.02(C)(6) requires the parents review the Parenting Plan periodically. This requirement carries significant importance to it—it reaffirms that even when a Court order is in place, the parents are still the ones in charge. Periodic review, after all, only works if parents are empowered to make changes between themselves as to what should happen with their child. A Court order exists to serve only as a fallback for when parents cannot agree. See A.R.S. § 25-403.02(D) (“If the parents are unable to agree on any element to be included in a parenting plan, the court shall determine that element”). Parents can agree to terms that differ from the Court order. That said, the best practice is to file an updated Parenting Plan with the Court for the Court’s approval when the parties agree to a major change.  

Communication Between Parents 

Parents are required to communicate regarding their children, and A.R.S § 25-403.02(C)(7) requires that they include a plan for carrying out that communication as part of their Parenting Plan. The simplest way to check that box is to require that the parents exchange an email every week. In cases where a protective order is in place or where domestic violence is a concern, the plan can limit communication to just that one email each week. In high-conflict and domestic violence situations, the parties may be ordered to communicate only through an app that is designed to help reduce the conflict between the parents, such as Our Family Wizard. 

Sex Offenders 

A.R.S § 25-403.02(C)(8) requires, “A statement that each party has read, understands and will abide by the notification requirements of section 25-403.05, subsection B. That provision reads, “A child’s parent or custodian must immediately notify the other parent or custodian if the parent or custodian knows that a convicted or registered sex offender … may have access to the child.” The statute lays requirements for how the notification should be made, i.e., either by first-class mail (return receipt requested) or by email.  

Education Order 

The Education Order is a new addition to the process aimed at solving a recurring situation—that is, when schools get caught between two parents fighting over custody. Schools are sometimes caught in a firestorm over issues such as whether a parent can enroll a child in that particular school or even which parent the school should release the child to at the end of the school day. In the past, this has resulted in some ugly, tense situations with school officials in the unfortunate position of trying to referee between two parents while trying to figure out what the Court orders require the school to do. Although not required, the education order is designed to help schools be better aware of what the orders are and their responsibilities to help lessen the conflict. If an Education Order is issued, the parents are encouraged to share it with the child’s school.   

Child Support Order 

A Child Support Order is required in every case involving children, even if you agree to waive child support. The order encompasses more than just the child support amount. It determines who gets to claim the children on their taxes, and how to divide unreimbursed medical expenses and agreed-upon extracurricular activities. 

Completion of the Parent Information Program 

Every parent going through a custody case must complete the Parent Information Program. Usually, in a Parenting Plan, you just list the date each parent completed the class.  

FAQ’s

How do I know what schedule is best for our child? 

When a child is younger, you want to minimize the amount of time the child is away from any one parent. As they grow older, that time away can be lengthened. So, for that reason, a week-on, week-off plan is not well-suited for a toddler; instead, a 2-2-3 or 5-2-2-5 is more appropriate, but for a 14-year-old, a week-on, week-off may work great. You know your children better than anyone, so working with your co-parent to design a schedule that suits your family is preferred.  

My child is not yet school age. We (the parents) live in different states. Can we do equal parenting time across state lines? 

Yes. But that is only going to happen if the two of you agree to that arrangement. A Court is very unlikely to order that if it is left up to the Court. Be aware that the arrangement will come to a breaking point when the child is school-aged because equal parenting time across state lines will not work for a school-aged child. 

I have a newborn child. Is it possible the Court could order equal parenting time for a newborn? 

It is possible, and we have certainly seen orders to that effect. Technically, the starting point is 50-50, and the law has no allowance either for a preference that favors Mothers or considers the age of the child. So, theoretically, equal parenting time is the starting point even for newborns. That said, the best interests of the child remain paramount, and there certainly are arguments about easing into parenting time for a newborn, and it’s common to structure a plan that provides the birth mother with the majority of parenting time in the first six months with the other parent’s time gradually increasing until they’re exercising equal parenting time around the time the child is 12 to 18 months old.  

What if I have a Parenting Plan and holiday schedule, but my ex and I do not agree? Does the parent with legal decision-making get to decide?  

No. Holiday parenting time is a parenting time issue. Legal decision-making does not include the right to make parenting time decisions. Those issues can only be decided by parental agreement or by the judge. 

What if my child said they want to stay with me for Christmas, but the Court order says it’s the other parent’s year? 

Unless the other parent agrees for you to keep the child, you must follow the Court order and send your child to the other parent. 

How do parents typically divide Christmas? 

One parent usually has the child from noon on Christmas Eve to noon on Christmas Day, and the other parent gets the child from noon on Christmas Day to noon the following day.  

What if I’m Jewish and the other parent is Christian? How does that impact our holiday plan? 

That may make dividing the holidays easier: The Christian parent can take the Christian holidays, the Jewish parent can take the Jewish ones, and divide holidays you both celebrate. It becomes trickier, though, when the Jewish and Christian holidays overlap. That may when there needs to be a protocol as to which parent gets holiday parenting time in the event of a conflict. This could be as simple as saying, “In even years, in the event of a conflict, the child shall observe the Jewish holiday; in odd years, the child shall observe the Christian holiday.”  

What if the other parent lives long distance?  

The parties should reach agreements on how travel will be arranged and how travel costs will be divided. 

What advice do you have for parents when it comes to exchanges? 

The most important thing is to be respectful, keep your emotions in control, and don’t fight in front of the child. The shorter the exchange, the easier that is. If you have matters to discuss, those are probably better to discuss on a phone call or through email rather than at an exchange, particularly if a disagreement is likely. 

Is it OK if I bring my new significant other with me on exchanges? 

Proceed with caution when doing so, at least at first. If this is your first relationship since you and the other parent split up, this can be a very sensitive time, and these are the moments where good co-parenting relationships can suddenly turn sour. So, if you want to bring them on exchanges, this is probably something you should run by the other parent first. Ultimately, the exchange is about your child, so keeping the child out of matters that could cause confrontation is paramount.  

The other parent wants to travel with my child to a country that is not a part of the Hague Convention. Should I permit them to do so? 

What you decide may depend on how much you trust the other parent, because if they don’t return with your child, getting your child back could be difficult and perhaps even impossible.

We have a long-distance parenting plan. In accordance with the plan, I sent my child to live with the other parent in another state for the summer. Now I have found out that the other parent is refusing to return the child and has enrolled them in school in the other state. What should I do? 

You need to contact a family law attorney immediately. This is likely going to be a matter of filing a Petition to Enforce and perhaps an expedited motion, or even an emergency motion. Whatever you do, though, you are likely going to need a family law attorney’s guidance.  

 

Parenting Plans

A Parenting Plan is an essential component of every child custody arrangement. Parenting plans must include the child(ren)’s normal schedule for parenting time, a holiday schedule, and a vacation schedule. 

Parenting plans vary for each family based on the needs of the children and parents. Ideally, the parents will collaborate and agree on a plan that fits their situation, focusing on what is best for their child(ren). But if they cannot agree, the Court will decide. 

To understand the options available and possible variations, it is helpful to review the most common parenting time schedules first.  

Table of Contents
Equal Parenting Time Plans

In most parenting time cases in Arizona, the parties either agree to equal parenting time or the Court orders equal parenting time. The reason for this is simple—equal parenting time is the starting point for the discussion on how much parenting time the Court should order. Smith v. Smith, 253 Ariz. 43, 47, ¶ 17 (App. 2022) 

Why is equal parenting time the most common order? 

Equal parenting time is where the Court starts in determining what parenting plan is appropriate. The reason why stems essentially from two statutes: 

  • A.R.S. § 25-103(B): “It also is the declared public policy of this state and the general purpose of this title that absent evidence to the contrary, it is in a child’s best interest: To have substantial, frequent, meaningful and continuing parenting time with both parents.” 
  • A.R.S. § 25-403.02(B): “Consistent with the child’s best interests in section 25-403 and sections 25-403.03, 25-403.04 and 25-403.05, the court shall adopt a parenting plan that provides for both parents to share legal decision-making regarding their child and that maximizes their respective parenting time.  The court shall not prefer a parent’s proposed plan because of the parent’s or child’s gender.”  
  • Note that the statutes cited in A.R.S. § 25-403.02(B) refer to statutes regarding the issues of domestic violence analysis, substance abuse analysis, and sex offender/murderer statutes. When these apply, equal parenting time is no longer the starting point.  

The easiest way to “maximize” each parent’s time is to order equal parenting time. An equal parenting time plan also meets the public policy standard that each parent has “substantial, frequent, meaningful and continuing parenting time.”  

In recent years, case law has addressed whether upon a showing of fitness, a parent is automatically entitled to equal parenting time. That is what Father argued in Gonzalez-Gunter v. Gunter, 249 Ariz. 489 (App. 2020) when the trial court found that he was a fit parent but found it was in the child’s best interests for the children to live with Mother primarily due to conflicts Father was having with the children. In his appeal, Father argued that once he was found to be a fit parent, the Court had to order equal parenting time for him. The Court of Appeals disagreed. It ruled that trial courts may order whatever plan is in the child’s best interests, whether that is equal parenting time or some other arrangement. The statutes do not mandate equal parenting time. 

Nevertheless, a couple of years later in Smith v. Smith, 253 Ariz. 43 (App. 2022), the Court of Appeals clarified that equal parenting time is the starting point. We always start with that idea. But equal parenting time is not a presumption. A presumption suggests a burden of proof someone has to overcome in order to get something other than equal parenting time. But in a child custody case, the standard is the best interests of the child. Whether the Court orders equal parenting time or another arrangement, the person who wants that arrangement must show it is in the child’s best interests.  

The Court of Appeals explained this well in an unpublished case, Troutman v. Troutman, 2023 WL 3749852 ¶ 11 (Ariz. App. 2023): 

¶11 Father asks this court to provide guidance for when it is appropriate to depart from the starting point of equal parenting time. The legislature provided that guidance in § 25-403.02(B), which requires the court to award parenting time consistent with the child’s best interests. See A.R.S. § 25-403.02(B). Courts determine the child’s best interests by applying §§ 25-403, -403.03, -403.04, and -403.05. Because each family and child is different, the factors applicable in each case will vary. More importantly, how the court weighs each factor must be determined on a case-by-case basis. It is impossible to impose a bright line rule for what constitutes “maximized” parenting time as Father requests. In some cases, one day a week might be in the child’s best interests. But other cases may warrant equal parenting time. The court satisfies its statutory obligation when it considers the child’s best interests under §§ 25-403, -403.03, -403.04, and -403.05. See A.R.S. § 25-403.02(B).  

In sum, equal parenting time is the starting point, and, for most Arizona parenting time cases, that is where it ends up. But the Court may order a different plan if it finds that such a plan is in the child’s best interests. The Court has very broad discretion to do so as long as it considers the required statutory factors.  

5-2-2-5 Parenting Plan

The above chart runs Monday through Sunday to help you see the breakdown. 

A 5-2-2-5 is the most common parent plan ordered in Arizona. It assigns one parent every Monday and Tuesday, the other parent every Wednesday and Thursday, and then the parents alternate the weekends. 

Most commonly, exchanges happen on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday mornings, although some parents opt to do exchanges on Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday nights.  

Advantages of the 5-2-2-5 

  • Ensures that a parent will not go more than five days without seeing their child. This can be especially important for children in elementary school or children who are just transitioning to a parenting schedule after having previously lived with both parents.  
  • It provides predictability for the child. The child knows where they will be every Monday through Thursday. This is especially important for school-aged children.  
  • It evenly distributes weekend and weekday parenting time. From what our clients report, there are important differences between weekends and weekdays for a parent. Weekdays are spent attending to important matters involving the child, such as getting them to and from school, doing homework, and going to doctors’ appointments. Weekdays are very much about responsibility. Weekend parenting time is more about quality time and having fun with the child. It allows a parent to develop both aspects of their relationship with the child. 
  • It is generally the closest plan we have to a one-plan-fits-all-ages plan, as it is generally workable for toddlers, grade schoolers, and teens.  

Disadvantages of the 5-2-2-5 

  • The number of exchanges. Although only two exchanges on some weeks, other weeks have three exchanges in one week. That can be challenging, especially if the parents don’t live close to one another.  
  • Although designed for parents to share the responsibilities for the child equally, it really only works if both parents are actually responsible. Sometimes, we see all of the homework or all of the doctor’s appointments fall on one parent’s shoulders.  
  • Although five days apart is generally viewed as not being too long for children, that can be a long time for younger children, especially those not yet old enough to attend school.  

The name comes from the dynamic you see play out in Weeks 2-4. Starting on the Wednesday in Week 2, Parent B has five straight days of parenting time. Then the children go to Parent A for two days, back to Parent B for two more days, and then Parent A has the children for five straight days, i.e., 5-2-2-5.  

2-2-3 Parenting Plan

 The 2-2-3 is similar to the 5-2-2-5. We are assigning the same days, and having exchanges the same days as we would under the 5-2-2-5. The difference now, though, is that there is no set schedule for the weekdays. Instead, we are exchanging every few days.  

Advantages of the 2-2-3 

  • The child goes no more than three days without seeing the parent. This can be especially useful for younger children as it makes their time away from a parent substantially less.  
  • Like the 5-2-2-5, it equally distributes the weekend and weekday parenting time to share in responsibilities and allow for quality time for both parents.  

Disadvantages of the 2-2-3 

  • It lacks the predictability that makes the 5-2-2-5 such a popular option. For that reason, it’s generally not a great plan for children when they are in school. And that, of course, limits its application essentially to toddlers and pre-Ks. Ideally, what we want to build in a Parenting Plan is one that works at all ages of the child (because we hope parties only have to go to Court one time, even though that is not always possible).  
  • Not only is that lack of predictability tough on children, it can be tough on parents who also need predictability for personal and professional reasons.  
  • Every week, you are guaranteed to have three exchanges, which can be overwhelming for parents and the child.  

Week-On, Week-Off Parenting Plan


 This plan is self-descriptive: One week you have the child; one week you do not. As far as plans go, there is not a simpler Plan than week-on, week-off. 

Exchanges tend to be either on Monday mornings or Sunday nights.  

Advantages of the Week-on/Week-Off 

  • Simple, predictable, and easy. It reduces exchanges to once a week. This reduces miscommunications and the stress that accompanies transitioning from one home to another.  
  • It allows for consistency without the child feeling like they are being shuffled between the two homes.  
  • This plan works well for older children who are of middle school or high school age. They usually can go longer periods of time without seeing their other parent.  
  • The plan also works well for situations involving high-conflict parenting. There is only one exchange, which limits the contact between parents, and even then, the exchange can take place at school with the parent whose time is ending to drop the child off to school in the morning, and the parent whose time is starting pick up the child at the end of the school day. That means there can be zero contact while the child is at school. Exchanges at school generally work for the other plans too, but it’s much easier to execute when there is only one exchange. 
  • It allows for more flexibility, particularly in the summer, for a parent to do something special or travel with the children during their time, particularly in cases where travel provisions are less restrictive.  

Disadvantages of Week-on/Week-Off 

  • It is not practical for younger children, for children who are not school age or even in the first few years of elementary school, the children need frequent time with the other parent to bond with them. Some professionals have expressed concern that a week away from a parent for a younger child may negatively impact their ability to appropriately bond with both parents.  
  • Even for children in elementary school, it can be difficult to go a week at a time without seeing a parent. That can sometimes be ameliorated by agreeing that the parent who does not have the children that week to have the children over for dinner on Wednesday or Thursday night.  
  • The plan works best when the child’s lifestyle is similar in both homes. But if, for example, at one home, the child is going to be at 9 p.m. every night, and in the other, the child is staying up until midnight, those are very difficult differences to adjust to, and they only become more pronounced by spending one week at a time in each home.   
  • A parent has a whole week where they are responsible for a child, which can create logistical problems for a parent needing to pick up, drop off, and take children to activities for a week straight. 

Courts can order a week-on, week-off plan but in our experience are much more prone to select the 5-2-2-5 over the week-on, week-off plan.  

Half-Week Parenting Plan

 Like the name suggests, it splits the week in half with a mid-day exchange on one day so that day is evenly split.  

The above schedule, unlike the others, is shown starting on Sunday. Typically, the parties are splitting Wednesday, but sometimes, they might split Friday, Saturday, or Sunday because those weekend days are a little easier to split when considering school for the child.  

The half-week plan is usually only ordered by agreement of the parties. Courts do not typically order this when the decision is left to the Court.  

4-3-3-4 Parenting Plan

 This is an option, but usually only by agreement of the parties. It is a way of doing the half-a-week schedule without having to split the seventh day in half. Instead, that seventh day is alternated.  

Long-Distance Parenting Plans

The Typical Plan

The most common long-distance situation is when parents are living in different states. If one parent lives in Arizona, and the other parent lives out of state, the child will primarily live with one parent, and travel to see the other when it coincides with the school calendar or holidays. This can make travel difficult and expensive, but it can be successful in certain circumstances.  

The non-primary parent has the child for the following times: 

  • A week on or around Christmas (generally, this is rotated so that one parent will have the child one Christmas, and the other parent has the child the next Christmas).  
  • Several weeks during the summer. This can vary anywhere from three to six weeks. It’s rare that the parent gets the entire summer break because the Court wants to allow both parents the opportunity to spend quality time with the child for things like summer vacation.  
  • Either Fall Break or Spring Break every school year. Similar to Christmas, this is commonly rotated each year. 

In-State Plan

In-state plans refer to situations where both parents live in-state but far from each other. For example, one parent may live in Phoenix, and the other parent may live in Tucson. In those situations, it is common to add 1-2 weekends per month where the child stays with the non-residential parent. Exchanges are typically done somewhere halfway between where the parents live.  

Southern California/Las Vegas Plans

Southern California and Las Vegas are close enough to allow additional parenting time beyond the common long-distance parenting plan. Sometimes, we see parents adding a weekend every month, or the non-residential parent gets the child on every three-day weekend.  

Holiday Plans

Holiday parenting time is one of the biggest stressors for newly separated or divorced parents. Every parent wants to make the holidays special for their children, but the holiday season can be fraught with anxiety as to how it is going to work between two households. Parenting plans should include a detailed and comprehensive holiday schedule to reduce conflict and help make co-parenting easier and better for the children.  

 What to include in a holiday parenting plan: 

 When creating a holiday schedule, make sure it includes the following:  

  • Who has the children for each holiday, for every year (if on an alternating schedule). 
  • Times of when the parenting time starts and when it ends (the more detail, the better). 
  • How and where the exchanges are handled.  
  • The Parenting Plan should make clear that the holiday schedule supersedes the regular schedule.  

When a Parenting Plan includes these elements, disagreements and hurt feelings are greatly reduced.  

What holidays should be included?  

What holidays to include and how to split them up is the parents decision. Oftentimes, religious preferences play a role in selecting what holidays are included.  

Ideally, to avoid any disputes the plan would include every holiday, but some people only include the major holidays like Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Halloween, Easter, the 4th of July, and fall and spring school breaks. Some parents include more minor holidays like Labor Day and Memorial Day. And of course, Jewish, Muslim, Hindi, and other religious parents include the holidays their faiths celebrate.  

When parents agree on a Parenting Plan, they can include whatever holidays they like. That’s one of the benefits of a mutually agreed-upon Parenting Plan.  

It is common to include a provision that mom gets the child every Mother’s Day and dad gets the child every Father’s Day. For same-sex parents, Mother’s Day or Father’s Day would likely be split by one parent getting the child on odd years and the other parent getting the child on even years.  Similar provisions are made for each parent’s birthday. Parents typically alternate the child’s birthday. 

Sample Holiday Parenting Plan

The holidays, start times, and end times will vary from parenting plan to parenting plan. We note that the below example does use the terms “Mother” and “Father;” we included that to show how Mother’s Day and Father’s Day work in these plans. For a plan involving same-sex parents, we would typically use first names or Parent A or Parent B on the schedule.  This is provided to give you an idea of what a plan might look like: 

At the beginning of a Parenting Plan, language will typically include a statement that the holiday plan takes precedence over the regular parenting plan. At the end of the plan, the plan will also include a statement along the lines of, “All other holidays not identified fall within the regular parenting time schedule.”  

School Breaks

School breaks can also be included in the chart or by a separate written provision below. Here’s how a typical provision in a Parenting Plan addresses the issue of school breaks: 

  • Winter Break. Particularly in long-distance situations, one parent will get the first half of Winter Break, and the other parent will get the second half of Winter Break. This may determine who gets the child on Christmas unless Christmas parenting time is specified in the holiday schedule. Sometimes, it may be necessary to define what half of the break means. This can be as simple as including a provision that reads, “Winter Break shall be calculated by counting the number of overnights starting when school is released until the school commences again and dividing that number by two.” 
  • Spring and Fall Break. These are typically alternated during the school year. Again, it is important to define when it begins and ends. Most commonly, it is defined as beginning when school lets out at the start of the break to when school recommences at the end of the break.  
  • Summer Break. When parents live in close proximity to each other, summers tend to follow the regular parenting time schedule. If the parents live 40-100 miles apart, summers may follow the inverse of the parenting time schedule as when school is in session. And, in long distance situations, the non-residential parent usually gets a few weeks each summer.  
Vacation Plans

The Parenting Plan should also include a plan for allowing each parent to travel with the child. The standard provision is for each parent to have two non-consecutive weeks of travel each year. These are generally exercised in the summer because both parents would have to agree for any travel during the school year. Vacation takes precedence over the regular schedule and where vacation plans may interfere with the holiday schedule, parents should communicate and reach an agreement. Most parenting plans include an itinerary requirement so the non-traveling parent knows where the child is and where they are staying. This can be important in the event of an emergency. Disclosing who else may be traveling with the child is encouraged.  

Out of State Travel 

For out-of-state travel, some parents choose to require that a parent planning to take the child out of state receive permission from the other parent or request a Court order. Other parents choose to allow out-of-state travel freely and simply require notice to the other parent of where they will be traveling. 

International Travel 

Some parents choose to restrict international travel altogether. Most parents, though, are willing to permit it. A passport for a child generally requires both parents’ signatures, although there is an exception for when one parent has sole legal decision-making.  

Some concerns with international travel are as follows: (1) Whether the parent and child are traveling to a country where they will be safe. The non-traveling parent certainly has grounds to object to international travel where the child may be at risk. It is important to check whether the U.S. State Department has issued any travel advisories for a certain country before proposing travel. (2) Whether the country to which they are traveling is a signatory to the Hague Convention on Child Abduction. If they are, that country will cooperate with returning the child to the United States in the event the other parent refuses to return to the United States. If they are not a signatory, the country may still cooperate, but it is far less likely that you will have any assistance. Mexico, Canada, and most European, Latin American, and South American countries are signatories. Many countries in Asia, Africa, and the Middle East are not. India, Egypt, Saudi Arabia, and Thailand are among the countries that are not signatories to the Hague Convention.  

In one unique and interesting case, the father wanted to take the children to Kuwait. In order to ensure their safe return, the Court required him to post a $2.5 million bond before he could travel with the children to Kuwait. Lehn v. Al-Thanayyan, 246 Ariz. 277 (App. 2019). He appealed the bond, but the Court of Appeals upheld it, finding that it was necessary to protect the children from being abducted. Id. at ¶ 27.                

What Else Needs To Go In The Parenting Plan?

A.R.S. § 25-403.02(C) details what needs to be included in every Parenting Plan. Additional requirements are imposed by rules and/or other statutes. See e.g. ARFLP Rule 45(c). The initial requirements are, of course, that it identifies the custodial aspects of the plan—what is the legal decision-making order, what are each parent’s rights and responsibilities related to major decisions, and the parenting time schedule. Other requirements include:  

Exchange Protocol 

According to A.R.S. § 25-403.02(C)(4) exchange protocol must include the location and the plan for transporting the child. Here are some common exchange protocols that are included in Parenting Plans: 

  • Receiving Parent Picks Up. This is probably the most common: When it’s your turn to start your parenting time, you drive over to the other parent’s home and pick up the child. When the co-parenting relationship is functioning well, this is a good option, as it simplifies exchanges and is probably the best option for a situation where a child is bringing items with them. This option also works best where parents are respectful of the other parent’s space, i.e., they shouldn’t enter the other parent’s home without being invited in. For that reason, this exchange protocol does not work as well in high-conflict situations. There are parents who just burst into the other parent’s home, which naturally causes a major argument and unnecessary stress. In instances of high-conflict, the receiving-parent-pick-up strategy could still work with additional boundaries such as not exiting your vehicle upon arrival. This will require either the child to come out and get in your vehicle or, for younger children, for the other parent to bring them out.  
  • Public Location. In situations where the parents live far away from each other or in situations in which safety is a concern, many parents choose to do exchanges at a public location. When distance plays a factor, parents are usually looking for a place halfway between their respective homes. Most commonly, this ends up being a gas station, coffee shop, or grocery store. When safety is a concern, a QT gas station is a good exchange location because of its pledge to be a Safe Place, with many locations investing in video monitoring on site. A police station is also an option for exchanges, as long as the child will not be brought into any confrontation. 
  • School Drop–off/Pick-up. When school is in session, many parents choose to do “exchanges” around the school day. The parent whose time is ending will drop the child off at school, and the parent whose time is beginning will pick up the child. This is an especially good option for high-conflict situations or situations where the parents recently broke up because it minimizes interactions between the parents, which can help keep the temperature down.  

Mediation/Dispute Resolution Requirements  

By law, a parenting plan must be in place for at least one year before a parent may seek a modification (there are exceptions to that law for when an emergency arises or where a parent is abusing legal decision-making). A.R.S. § 25-411(A). A relocation counts as a modification and is subject to the one-year rule. Murray v. Murray, 239 Ariz. 174 (App. 2016).  

A.R.S. § 25-403.02(C)(5) requires that the parties include a provision in their Parenting Plan about how they will address proposed changes, disputes, and alleged breaches. Specifically, the Parenting Plan must include a provision for how these will be either “mediated or resolved.” This may include requiring the parties to go to mediation to resolve disputes or before seeking Court intervention. Or it may include a tie-break procedure, such as using a third-party to help the parties resolve disputes, or a parenting coordinator who will be the tiebreaker in the event of a dispute. In 2019, the Arizona Supreme Court changed the Arizona Rules of Family Procedure, including a change to Rule 91(d) that states no party is required to submit to mediation before filing a petition to modify; however, they may be required to mediate after they file to modify. Despite this rule, if your Parenting Plan required mediation before you can seek a modification, your best move is generally to request mediation before filing a case. 

Periodic Review 

A.R.S § 25-403.02(C)(6) requires the parents review the Parenting Plan periodically. This requirement carries significant importance to it—it reaffirms that even when a Court order is in place, the parents are still the ones in charge. Periodic review, after all, only works if parents are empowered to make changes between themselves as to what should happen with their child. A Court order exists to serve only as a fallback for when parents cannot agree. See A.R.S. § 25-403.02(D) (“If the parents are unable to agree on any element to be included in a parenting plan, the court shall determine that element”). Parents can agree to terms that differ from the Court order. That said, the best practice is to file an updated Parenting Plan with the Court for the Court’s approval when the parties agree to a major change.  

Communication Between Parents 

Parents are required to communicate regarding their children, and A.R.S § 25-403.02(C)(7) requires that they include a plan for carrying out that communication as part of their Parenting Plan. The simplest way to check that box is to require that the parents exchange an email every week. In cases where a protective order is in place or where domestic violence is a concern, the plan can limit communication to just that one email each week. In high-conflict and domestic violence situations, the parties may be ordered to communicate only through an app that is designed to help reduce the conflict between the parents, such as Our Family Wizard. 

Sex Offenders 

A.R.S § 25-403.02(C)(8) requires, “A statement that each party has read, understands and will abide by the notification requirements of section 25-403.05, subsection B. That provision reads, “A child’s parent or custodian must immediately notify the other parent or custodian if the parent or custodian knows that a convicted or registered sex offender … may have access to the child.” The statute lays requirements for how the notification should be made, i.e., either by first-class mail (return receipt requested) or by email.  

Education Order 

The Education Order is a new addition to the process aimed at solving a recurring situation—that is, when schools get caught between two parents fighting over custody. Schools are sometimes caught in a firestorm over issues such as whether a parent can enroll a child in that particular school or even which parent the school should release the child to at the end of the school day. In the past, this has resulted in some ugly, tense situations with school officials in the unfortunate position of trying to referee between two parents while trying to figure out what the Court orders require the school to do. Although not required, the education order is designed to help schools be better aware of what the orders are and their responsibilities to help lessen the conflict. If an Education Order is issued, the parents are encouraged to share it with the child’s school.   

Child Support Order 

A Child Support Order is required in every case involving children, even if you agree to waive child support. The order encompasses more than just the child support amount. It determines who gets to claim the children on their taxes, and how to divide unreimbursed medical expenses and agreed-upon extracurricular activities. 

Completion of the Parent Information Program 

Every parent going through a custody case must complete the Parent Information Program. Usually, in a Parenting Plan, you just list the date each parent completed the class.  

FAQ’s

How do I know what schedule is best for our child? 

When a child is younger, you want to minimize the amount of time the child is away from any one parent. As they grow older, that time away can be lengthened. So, for that reason, a week-on, week-off plan is not well-suited for a toddler; instead, a 2-2-3 or 5-2-2-5 is more appropriate, but for a 14-year-old, a week-on, week-off may work great. You know your children better than anyone, so working with your co-parent to design a schedule that suits your family is preferred.  

My child is not yet school age. We (the parents) live in different states. Can we do equal parenting time across state lines? 

Yes. But that is only going to happen if the two of you agree to that arrangement. A Court is very unlikely to order that if it is left up to the Court. Be aware that the arrangement will come to a breaking point when the child is school-aged because equal parenting time across state lines will not work for a school-aged child. 

I have a newborn child. Is it possible the Court could order equal parenting time for a newborn? 

It is possible, and we have certainly seen orders to that effect. Technically, the starting point is 50-50, and the law has no allowance either for a preference that favors Mothers or considers the age of the child. So, theoretically, equal parenting time is the starting point even for newborns. That said, the best interests of the child remain paramount, and there certainly are arguments about easing into parenting time for a newborn, and it’s common to structure a plan that provides the birth mother with the majority of parenting time in the first six months with the other parent’s time gradually increasing until they’re exercising equal parenting time around the time the child is 12 to 18 months old.  

What if I have a Parenting Plan and holiday schedule, but my ex and I do not agree? Does the parent with legal decision-making get to decide?  

No. Holiday parenting time is a parenting time issue. Legal decision-making does not include the right to make parenting time decisions. Those issues can only be decided by parental agreement or by the judge. 

What if my child said they want to stay with me for Christmas, but the Court order says it’s the other parent’s year? 

Unless the other parent agrees for you to keep the child, you must follow the Court order and send your child to the other parent. 

How do parents typically divide Christmas? 

One parent usually has the child from noon on Christmas Eve to noon on Christmas Day, and the other parent gets the child from noon on Christmas Day to noon the following day.  

What if I’m Jewish and the other parent is Christian? How does that impact our holiday plan? 

That may make dividing the holidays easier: The Christian parent can take the Christian holidays, the Jewish parent can take the Jewish ones, and divide holidays you both celebrate. It becomes trickier, though, when the Jewish and Christian holidays overlap. That may when there needs to be a protocol as to which parent gets holiday parenting time in the event of a conflict. This could be as simple as saying, “In even years, in the event of a conflict, the child shall observe the Jewish holiday; in odd years, the child shall observe the Christian holiday.”  

What if the other parent lives long distance?  

The parties should reach agreements on how travel will be arranged and how travel costs will be divided. 

What advice do you have for parents when it comes to exchanges? 

The most important thing is to be respectful, keep your emotions in control, and don’t fight in front of the child. The shorter the exchange, the easier that is. If you have matters to discuss, those are probably better to discuss on a phone call or through email rather than at an exchange, particularly if a disagreement is likely. 

Is it OK if I bring my new significant other with me on exchanges? 

Proceed with caution when doing so, at least at first. If this is your first relationship since you and the other parent split up, this can be a very sensitive time, and these are the moments where good co-parenting relationships can suddenly turn sour. So, if you want to bring them on exchanges, this is probably something you should run by the other parent first. Ultimately, the exchange is about your child, so keeping the child out of matters that could cause confrontation is paramount.  

The other parent wants to travel with my child to a country that is not a part of the Hague Convention. Should I permit them to do so? 

What you decide may depend on how much you trust the other parent, because if they don’t return with your child, getting your child back could be difficult and perhaps even impossible.

We have a long-distance parenting plan. In accordance with the plan, I sent my child to live with the other parent in another state for the summer. Now I have found out that the other parent is refusing to return the child and has enrolled them in school in the other state. What should I do? 

You need to contact a family law attorney immediately. This is likely going to be a matter of filing a Petition to Enforce and perhaps an expedited motion, or even an emergency motion. Whatever you do, though, you are likely going to need a family law attorney’s guidance.  

 

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